In 1989, I made the decision final to become a human. The idea had bounced around in my head for quite a while. Now, I finally had the stability in my life thanks to some corporate video gigs with Farm World. In the end it was a tougher decision than I though it would be, but I'm very glad I did it.

The procedure was performed mostly by Dr. Med. Ole Olsen Malm, a Swedish man with very soft hands. It was staged in three parts spaced about three weeks from each other. This had never been done before, obviously. So, there was realy no previous experience to go with. Dr. Malm had been working with experimental veterinary medicine and genetics since the 60s so I was pretty relaxed in his capable hands.
For the first stage, Dr. Malm brought in a team of specialists from Arkansas, USA. I remember they smelled like hickory smoke when I met them. I admit I was a little woried at first but the Dr. said it was just nervousness.
This first stage took 11 hours and they didn't use any anesthesia. I was feeling it at first but they talked to me a lot about American sports for those 11 hours which helped to calm me down.
This is hour 9 of stage two. That's Dr. Malm second from the left. This is the surgery where they constructed my face and torso. When I was still in Chicago, they asked me who I wanted them to model my face from. I said that I didn't really care. But on the plane ride to Sweden, they showed Major League and I decided I wanted to be modeled after Charlie Sheen.
When I got to the hotel, I called Dr. Malm and told him. He laughed pretty loud and after a few moments of silence he said, "Valrighty."
After a long lunch break they came back to finish constructing my face. Later, they informed me that my lamb brain was not large enough to fill a normal sized human head, so they had to fill the remaining space with nougat. Right after the surgery I would have leakage problems, but bebe took care of that by just licking my ears. The second phase took a total of 19 hours.
For the third procedure, they constructed my legs and other necesaries down below. They also did some preliminary beard work. We had talked at length about whether or not to implant a beard because I wouldn't be able to grow one naturally. I like to think of the beard as being part of my gimmick, my look.
This procedure only took about 30 minutes and Dr. Malm wasn't even present. He watched from a video monitor in Trinidad.
This is after they removed the bandages and the swelling had subsided. Needles to say, I was unhappy with the beard. It was a little uneven. See how it's longer on the right and short on the left? So, I had to go back to Sweden to get it fixed. But once I did...
I was very happy with it.
This is me in 1990 returning home to Japan to visit family. This was the first time they would see me in my new form. I hadn't antisipated the way it would effect them. It was strange to have kneel down to speak face to face with them. My Mom was really freaked out. She said I looked like "that guy from Platoon." My best friend, Shoguri didn't even recognize me. We don't talk to much anymore. I think he was upset that I became human considering all the things they had done to us as sheep. I guess we just kind of went to our own little worlds. He grew horns and I became a man. Some people freaked out about it and others thought it was the neatest thing they had ever seen. Such is the theatre of life.
AND WHEN THE SMOKE HAD CLEARED...
became
Well, once the surgery was complete and everything was back to normal, I started to look for jobs. At first, it was awkward at best. Directors and producers just couldn't see through the troubles I was having in audition. Troubles like with the English language, basic motor skills, and memorization. After some therapy and another minor procedure which replaced the nougat in my head with 10W-40 weaght motor oil, I was able to impress a little more easily.
My first job was in an improvisation comedy troupe in Austin, TX. We were called Los Paranoias after a Beatles tune. I only got paid 5 $US for each show and it was in one of the crappiest bars in the world, but at least I had my first job.
And since then, it's been mostly gravy.

I have to give special thanks to Dr. Malm for performing this experimental procedure on me. Sadly, he's not around to see the true fruition of the project as he took his own life shortly thereafter. So here's to the man that made me one. May your supple hands caress the pillars of heaven eternally.
Want to know more about the surgery? Drop me a line.
beardedlamb EAT atxentertainment DIRT com
1927-1989