beardedlamb

Naked Welder’s Association

Bearded Lamb — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 23:49:19 +0000

Naked Welder’s Ass.
We weld naked, so you don’t have to.

No Man is an Island

Bearded Lamb — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 08:01:32 +0000

little has survived in my mind from high school, at least conciously. i’ve just returned home (LA) coming from home (Austin) and driving back by myself, i was able to do some serious thinking. i’ve always been a bit afeared of the lonely times. but this seemed like a welcome break from the bustles of my daily routine in LA and the business of shows, oob meetings, families, and friends in Austin over the “break.” it took me 3 days to go 1700 miles and along the way i did some filming. i think i’ll come out of it with a couple pretty good little pieces. one a perfect length with almost no editing work and one that will become an agonizing editing feat. all will be revealed.

but along this trip, i’ve come up with some other longer term things. a sound based thing (recurring podcast i guess?) and a comedy travel show pilot among them.

back to the high school learnings… while filming a thing about solitude and solidarity in my confirmed independence professionally, artistically, and maybe even socially, i thought about the title of a john donne poem, No Man is an Island. it was cloudy in my mind and thought maybe it was “man is an island” and the poem about being alone and solely trusting oneself. but as i thought more about it, i remembered that the poem was about the very opposite and now that i;ve looked it up and copied it below, i think i have extracted that its about a hypothetical person dying and the whole world being affected by that. no one is insignificant and rather than being an island, he is a great portion of the continent of mankind.

doesn’t fit the piece i filmed but maybe i’ll include it anyway, just to clue in what the piece is about without saying it so exactly.
here’s the poem:

No Man is an Island

No man is an island, entire of itself
every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main
if a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were,
as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were
any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind
and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls
it tolls for thee.

– John Donne

love that ending. don’t bother asking who has died, because it’s you, my friend. YOU have died just a little bit.

double whammy

Bearded Lamb — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 06:22:52 +0000

only because people ask me all the time…
saw 2 famous people today, the less famous one is the one i was much more excited about.

saw ole Norm Son of a Gunderson from Fargo at a Baja Fresh during lunch. He was by himself and as he was carrying his food to his table, somebody stopped him and talked to him. I couldn’t tell what about. He finished his food, threw away the trash and then sat and talked to the guy who had stopped him for 10 minutes or so. Seemed very nice and genuine.

I sit near the “pitch” room at work and i saw tommy lee come out of it after lunch. big whoop, right. although sitting near that room has led to some pretty funny sightings; Corky from Life Goes On, the leave britney alone guy, Sean Kingston. i know i’m leaving out a couple… anyway, this is as close to fame as i get. yay.

out in LA i’ve seen william h. macy (also of Fargo), victoria jackson, zach braff, david hasselhoff, the girl from blue crush, john ratzenberger, breckin meyer, and mitch baker.

to sum up, whoopee.

String Test #12

Bearded Lamb — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 09:47:09 +0000

…and…

Al Final Del Camino

Bearded Lamb — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 07:30:35 +0000

an opus? i think so.

Mad ups to Jeffrey Amos, our one-man crew, and all the actors: Mike D’Alonzo, Dana Vinson, Justin Halliwell, Jordan T. Maxwell, Chelsea Coleman, and Matt Swanson.

ruminations. i think.

Bearded Lamb — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 08:48:44 +0000

just got back from a few days in the wilderness of the mountains for a thanksgiving getaway with friends that was much needed. i thought i would have more time to myself but it was almost all social. this is fine as i enjoy th people who were up there immensely and i didnt once feel like retreating to my own cubbie hole or whatever.

even without a ton of my own personal time, the clear moments and things i came away with from this vacay still managed to bubble up, just at unexpected moments. i’ve written, sure it was like 3 years ago, about my need as a social person to experience things with people in order to fully enjoy them. i dont like going solo for food or movies, whatnot.

at a concert earlier last week my mind wandered to a fictitious significant other who i could drape my arms around and enjoy the good music with. i pictured myself from some distance hugging her waist and gently swaying. she was faceless, although the rolodex of crushes and foibles managed to shuffle through and i tested how the light played off our faces. how would i remember this moment with my perfect other? how long would it be before the moment would fade and i would be lost again? i wanted to commemorate my daydream with a poem, something along the lines of “pockets of memories” drawing a comparison to some scientific principle or two about how things tend to stick together until broken apart by an outside force. instead of writing this poem, i have written the previous sentence as a shortcut.
in the cabin this weekend, the realization was only solidified yet again. shared experience is the way to go. perfect moments are hard to come by but i know they are somewhere near.

my only other discovery this weekend was that the BCS is retarded. this did not take much introspection or rumination. just a list of numbers.

looking forward very much to getting to austin for the holy days, seeing family and friends, doing prov with old buddies and agonizing over said perfection previously enumerated above. maybe i’ve grown more used to the current state of things. austin is always riddled with its own unrequited half-advances and daydreams and i couldn’t be happy about going back unless there was a little bit of that torment mixed in, right?

also, don’t be surprised if in 10 years or so i run for mayor of austin. just sayin.

how to order pizza for a large group

Bearded Lamb — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 08:27:52 +0000

do not listen to the minority, and i’m not talking about the token black, gay, or midget friend in the group. i’m talking about the person who wants the stupidest pizza. this pizza and the degree to which it can be called stupid will vary depending on the normal orders by comparison. do not listen to this person because when people who ordered the normal shit go back for seconds, thirds, or eights, all that’s left is the stupid pizza. the just pepperoni pizza goes first. then the just cheese. what’s left is the bullshit hawaiian, olive, and capers white cheese pizza with the cheese-stuffed crust. no one wants this shit. one person just wants to have their voice heard because they think it’s important. note: this person is usually the insecure female, i’ve noticed, but it can also be JEFF AMOS.
if the minority somehow does curry enough favor with the majority to get their wacky crap pie ordered, when the pizza arrives they must not be allowed to enjoy the normal pizza as punishment for screwing up everyone else’s meal. they’ll try to have a couple of those normal slices even though they insisted on gaudy variety. what they fail to realize, or worse DO realize but choose to ignore, is that variety for them means bullshit seconds for someone else who went with the general consensus of the group.
so, when ordering more than two pizzas, get one just pepperoni, one half cheese, half pepperoni, and one that is half pepperoni, 1/4 onion, sausage, mushroom, and the other 1/4 whatever atrocity that minority wants to put on their pizza. when it arrives, no one eats until that gooftard has gotten their 1/4 shitpizza onto their plate. then the power of the group should be focused on removing them from the dwelling so that everyone else can enjoy their meal. it is preferable that the climate be below freezing to further negatively enforce their behavior, but this is not required. once the pizza is done or everyone has had enough, the misguided piece-of-mind orderer can be allowed back into the dwelling, but only once they have announced to everyone that they have learned their lesson. and they are not to have any dessert. exception: if it was their idea to order a dessert pizza or cinnamon sticks, they shall be instructed to wait until the normals have had their fill.

please note: sometimes you’ll have people who will agree with the monortiy either out of kindness or because they have once been a minority themselves. they are now part of the minority and all rules regarding what they get to consume should be followed as such, even if they started with “yeah, pepperoni sounds great.”

also note: if everyone in your group has shown that they are the monority by wanting stupid pizza except you, then you are the minority. leave the dwelling immediately and find a new group of friends compatible with your dining desires.

take it to heart,
b

more vidjaness

Bearded Lamb — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 07:58:23 +0000

here’s another old video. i uploaded it last week, and it was topical 4 years ago and then again a few months ago. it’s still pretty funny though. madeline and i made it when we lived in chicago for a video competition where they give you the title and one month to make a movie. we didnt win anything and the videos that won sucked ass. guess it’s not what you know, but who you blow.

The Candidate:

-sigh-
still makes me laugh.

Spider vs. Spider AKA The Rumble in Andersonville

Bearded Lamb — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 07:23:51 +0000

acrid and viral

Bearded Lamb — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 06:51:58 +0000

acrid smoke made me feel ill all weekend as houses and apartments all around me burned to the ground. it was raining ash at work today and i remarked with mikey that we were breathing in the remains of people houses and cars. he added pets to the list. christopher lloyd lost an $11 million home and that’s just sad cuz i like him. cannot wait for this fire business to be over.

but i was not deterred from filming most of the raw footage for something that will probably turn out to be one of my favorite things i do. ever. don’t want to build it up too much to you or in my mind so i’ll leave it there. should be up sometime after thanksgiving.

uploaded some good stuff to my youtube account including some really old footage of me playing a fake wedding for a few friends in 2006. Ironically, i fit in beautifully as the fake entertainment, singing along to the Urban Cowboy Motion Picture Soundtrack, something i am want to occasionally do. i’ll put it here so its real easy for you to watch it. i wish i could do stuff like this for a living. unfortunately, it appears there’s not much of a market for a strong commitment to ignoring failure.