break my legs

tonight i audition for humor solutions' corporation, inc.

they do corporate improv shows and training around Chicago. now these gigs pay super well so aligning myself with them would be very good for my fiscal situation. plus, they do kind of random engagements which is just what i do when i have to go out of town for five days to do touring shows. so, it might work out really well. i'll know my conflicts for both jobs in plenty of time to coordinate them.
one problem remains, i have never succeeded at an audition. i must say it is my career weakness. no one ever seems to like me the first time they meet me, not even in real life. i think most people just don't get me right away. for instance, excluding my parents, if you're reading this you probably know me. do you remember when you first met me? you were probably put off or bored by me. but eventually, i worked my way into your warm spots, some of you more than others.
but in the audition setting, there are no second chances. i like to think that it's actually last impressions that count most. have you ever met someone that seemed great and you just think they're going to be your best friend forever and then they murder your pets. sometimes the final impression you have of someone is more important than the first. so, tonight, i'll have an alright audition, but i won't smile enough, i'll play too slow because that's what i'm used to and better at. most importantly, i won't impress them because they don't know me.the challenge is for me to separate my ego from the rejection. failing at auditions should really be seen as part of my job. as an actor, you just have to put in the crappy hours of not impressing people in an empty room. can i just say that an audition does not properly simulate what it's supposed to. there is no audience but two people who have seen similar crap all day long. the room doesn't have adequate lighting and you have no ensemble to bond with. it's like asking someone to ride a bike for a driving test. you might be on the road but you're really just moving on wheels and not driving.
i love their name, too. corporation, inc. presents humor solutions. it works within the corporate world by using their jargon but it's also funny so it's in our world and therefore makes fun of them a little bit. very nice.

we shall see if i can overcome my first impression woes.

b